This section is written by Teti whose native laguage is Bahasa Indonesia. She has had no formal education of speaking or writing English. It took her about three days to write a page of text without any help so please understand there are gramatical errors.

When I'm a Kid
As a kid I had a perfect life in the beginning, loving, care, respect, people my parent teaching me early when I was I little we are happy family she so take care of me, like am own child so much to tell how perfect she is. And my father teaching so strong bout religion they teaching me deferent way,
One day some thing happened changed all my life, my mother had been sick for her life. I was five years old and she had been to the hospital every month because she had cancer in her breast. She stayed in the hospital a lot. She would need on operation for the cancer. We were told she would lose her breast, which hurt my feelings. I'm missing her love every second, that is what I needed as a child. Also my father needed her to take care of me. It made him very busy with trying to work, look after my mom, and take care of me. We didn't have a servant and it was difficult to find a baby sitter. At that time we didn't have much money. One day when we went to visit her I had an accident. We were riding a bicycle and my foot slipped into the spokes. That made my father very nervous. Later in the hospital my mom was worried about me also. But I was ok. The doctor completed his check up while we were there and said everything was fine.
A week later my mom was getting better and the doctor released her to go back home. She still needed a lot of rest, but it made me so happy that she was home again. That did not last forever; when I'm seven years old she died. How my feelings hurt so much, like my spirit and my mind also had gone with her. That is a part of my life that never will come back again. I still have my grandmother but she is to old to take care of me and she living in Bogor, a long way from Bandung where we live. She tell me before she died she is born in Makkah Arabia when her mother going to Arabia for hajji. Few years latter I hear she died but I cannot go there to visit just make me sad for reason she also like my real grandma.
One year later my father wanted to get married again. For me it is not interesting but for my father he wanted the best for me. He knew I needed somebody to take care of me like a mom. Also he was so busy with his job at the university. He is teaching about Islam all of the time, never resting, in the end he got married again.
I started my new life at this time. It was like hell the day my new stepmother moved in with us. I kept hoping to be happy again like before with my mom. But it did not take long for me to know that would never be. When we are together she is always in a bad mood. She didn't care if I was sad. She was so jealous, greedy, and mean. Everything was for her only. She looked like a witch to me.
I have nine brothers and sisters from my dad's first wife. I thought that my mom was the second wife. One day my sister told me that my mom was not dead, that my real mom was still alive. I did not believe her. She said that after I was born that my dad had gotten a divorce from his second wife and that whom I thought was my mom, which died, was my dad's third wife. When I asked my dad about this, he just said, yes. I could not ask him too much right then. It is also difficult to talk with him when the witch is always there and making him sad. In my heart I just asked myself why my father didn't tell me that I still have a real mother, especially since my mom died. Also why my real mother she don't care about me. She never visits me. I thought so much about this.
I was just waiting for a good time to ask my dad one day. It would be a good time when she was going to the village. She always took the money my dad worked so hard for to her village. She used it to fix her house. She was always taking money to village, even when we had no food in the house. She took all money we leaving with nothing only race,
For one day she gave me only 25 Rupee a day. I had to use that at the school. She never cooked breakfast for us in the morning, and when I came back from school there was nothing to eat.
After she left I talked with my dad that afternoon. I told him I wanted to meet my real mother. He did not look happy but he couldn't say anything. He looked so angry but it was not with me. He planed to ask some body to take me to meet my real mother. I would have to wait sometime because she was living in a village some four hours away.
The day finally arrived when I would go to see my real mother, my dad had arranged with some other of our family to take me. I arrived in the village in the afternoon. I was so happy that I was going to see my real mom and maybe my life would be happy again. We went to the house where my mom was living but she was not home. l met a lady whom said she was my auntie. She showed me the house of my mom and told me that my mom had another house also. l met another brother of mine, he has the same mom as I but a different dad. I found out that my mom had three more children than myself. They were all from a different dad than me. I had already sensed something was different because my brother was living with my aunt and not my mom. We did not spend too much time there with my aunt because I wanted to see my mom. l wanted to see her face and know how she feels about me. She was living in town with her husband. We went to their home then. When l met my mom I am so happy the family members that brought said they wanted to go and visit some other family. They left me there with my mom. The first time I talked with my mom, she looked so happy. Her husband also has one child that was somewhat older than me. We talked into the evening about what happened with my mom that I loved so much. l told her that she had died of breast cancer. I told her how when I was little that my she had tried to feed me from her breast even though she had no milk to satisfy my hunger. She told me the story about my dad. How he took me away from her when I'm only six months old. She had a job and did not have enough time to take care me. She was so mad with my dad. She told me that my dad didn't care about her and me. She said he left us with nothing. That is why she is so mad with him. But she was also mad with me, so why she didn't care about me. My grand father took care of me since I was born until I was two when he died. She said that one day she came to Bandung to see where my dad and were I staying. She is so sad when she found that my dad was already married again to the woman I had thought was my real mom. She talked so bad about my dad I should have not been hearing when she told all of the bad thing It was very thoughtless of her to talk about such thing the first time I met her. I love my dad so much even though he has changed his character towards me since he has married my step mom.
I stayed there at her home for two nights before leaving to go back to Bandung. Before leaving she gave me a necklace because I didn't have one. I was so happy to be on the way back to Bandung and to be with my dad.
When I got home my dad was home with my mean step mom. She looked surprised that I was wearing the beautiful necklace. She looked like she was jealous. I am sure later she asked my dad to buy her one just like it. She was only married with my dad for his money, she was always thinking badly.
A couple of days later I went next door to be with my friends. They were like my family. There were many children in their family, some were older and some of them younger. I was talking with one of the girls and she asked me about the meeting with my real mom. She wanted to know what we talked about. I'm sure she saw the necklace I was wearing and wanted to take it from me. I knew later when my necklace was already missing. She had asked me to let her clean my ears. Then later she let me sleep in her bed. She never had asked me to do that before. When I woke up I did think about my necklace. I just went to the bath room took a bath. I touched my neck and that is when I realized the necklace was gone. I did not tell any one that I thought she stole my necklace, not even my dad.
It made me so mad. Later everyone thought I sold the necklaces. I hated my step mom so much because she gave poison with her mouth to everybody. While in her heart she was laughing at her gain in these worlds' riches. In my house there were six people living there, my father, my step mom, a cousin, two adopted children and myself.
There was also one child from my fathers first marriage, yeah… and before three of them stayed with us. They lived with us at the time my mom whom I loved with all my heart was still living. They never respected her because they knew their real mother that my dad divorced. They knew their mother still loved my dad even after they are already divorced for a long time before I am born. He divorced and promised to never be with her again because she was cheating on him. She was cheating with her son-in-law. Her and the son-in-law had three children while she was married with my dad. But my dad he respected them like his own children. And they sometimes they would say bad things to their step mom for them, but not for me. That is why she had been sick in side the heart. She always kept this to herself and would never tell to my dad. The only one thing that made her happy was when I'm still a baby until seven years old. They were also jealous with me. Until she died and made them happy they were hoping their mother would come back again to my dad.
Later when they were living with their mother they would come back to the house to ask money from my dad. They were living in a town near from Bandung. Even though they were not his children he still cared for them as much as he could. There was the three of them, two men and one women but he still took care of them until something bad happened with me.
Since my mom died nobody seemed to like me, not even my dad. The witch step-mom I had was always planting seeds of evil in people's hearts. I felt like a stranger. Sometimes I would talk to my cousin, but at times even she would be in a bad mood with me. I don't understand why every body in the house doesn't like me. My life is like living like in hell. I don't know how I lived in our house like that. I never ever told to any one all that happened. I only kept it to my self. How much suffering I had after my loving mom died and my witch step-mom came. I would just sit and pray mosque and cry. One day a man came to the house for money. He stayed a couple of nights with us.
Another night my dad has been for teaching Islam in a small town with my step mom. My half brother come in, He stay for few night in home his waiting ask some money to my father. I sleep in the same bed as my cousin because she was like my sister also blain I never thing bad about him but what happen in might night he started to put his hands on my vagina I had a small hole in my pants and he wanted to open it more. After this he wanted to put his penis to my vagina I can fell his hand touch my heaven and suddenly I weak up I run away to the next door from the bathroom. Lucky for me that door wasn't locked when I came back to my house the next morning to take my uniform and go to school, I saw my cousin. He did not feel guilty or scared it is like nothing happened for him I kept this to myself and didn't tell anyone. It was not only one time that he doing that, later when he comes again he trying two more times. I was able to keep my virginity thanks to Allah for saving me from Satan, even if he's like my brother. I continued to suffer more and more as time, Not only in the house but also the neighborhood. Before the death of my mom, all of them were so nice to me. Since the witch [step mother] moved into our house my life and that of my dad has been so bad. I call her a witch because what I found under my dads bed. I found a bone chicken and set in such a way as if someone were practicing black magic. Even stranger is that before my dad she was married eight other times, all of the husbands died. She also has a daughter, I don't know from who? She never told to my dad. I still remember she told to my dad that she had only one child a boy. But he's dead when his born. Her daughter she live until now; she only has one child that looks like her and eight dead husbands. So any way when I finished my first school she was already planning with my dad to send me far away from them. The reason is because she doesn't like I'm near to them. She also worries about money if I go to school in Bandung. Her plan was for my dad to take me to Islamic school in another town. I cannot say no, I always must say yes, even if I don't like it.
When we been to Islamic school my dad didn't give me any money. He gave money to the ullama of the school to take care of me if I needed some thing I would just ask them. I tray to understand the situation in the new life but I was missing home, love from my dad and my friends. I did not feel comfortable with my dad giving the ullama control of the money. If I needed something for school it was so difficult, she [wife ullama] had all my money.
I spent one year in this school. When I went back home again I was so happy to see my family again. But they were not happy, especially my step mom. I didn't want to go back to school and that made my step mom so mad. She would not even talk with me any more,
One day when my father went to the university some guy came to the house. He acted like he was a friend of the family but he really only wanted my dads money. He stayed in our home for some time. When nobody else was at home my step mom was with him laughing, joking, and she give him food like her husband. She would go to the restaurant and buy special meat for him when for my dad she only served noodles or sometimes only salt fish. He worked hard and did not even have time for rest. I didn't know where the money my dad worked so hard for was going. I only knew that she was taking everything she could from my dad for herself. She was like the rice woman in the village is what everybody would say. Before married with my dad she didn't have anything. I did not go back to school again until my age was fourteen years old. That is the time also when I had a boyfriend. But my step mom was always trying to make problems for me. She was so busy telling everyone how bad I was. It is like I have big sin. By doing this she was making embarrass not only for me but also all of my family. In that place where we lived the people respected my dad so much. With all of the talk I ended up getting married even though I was till to young to be married,
And after being married two months letter I got pregnant. My husband started cheating on me while I was pregnant. When I was in the hospital he had a young girl friend.
I met her later when she came to our home and told me everything; at that time I wanted a divorce. But my father kept telling me that it was a sin in Islam if you divorce. I have more sin when I am not happy and all of the family blames me, because my husband doesn't have money is not only that, he
Also heating me a` lot until my eye almost come out and break ear to, not yet the family they always say bat to me everything what doing is wrong,I must resfec all in my live with bad condicions forgive them and forget,untill we have another chilld,we have two girl,
all family from me or him, who I need to ask for help me no body. I believe the truth will prevail some time ask my self why allah does`nt help , Usually by the time, we move to he's house I have little money, and I would like to do some thing whit our life we won open small store, the income coming from store even not much just enough living, I saving little bit just for incase when we have problem for the kid, some money for baying jewelry, but I not understand that making he's mother and sister can be jealousy, in front at me them look nice and family, sister in law with husband send me magic for break down my live cause I just have some jewelry and we have small store, till bankrupt and
I been sick, ask to the doctor he not understand what I got, he just give me medicine that is not make me better, in the night my little girl she sick also have fevers and crying, I have dream is two house Sudanese traditional I show four little ghost they laughing when I come in the house is nothing in site
Only them two by them sty out site another two around me make circle I prying they like scramming also lock the door but after prying I have power till week up when I check my girl she body turn dawn temperature, not only that I still been sick and he's brother tell to my husband take me to super natural.
Beginning when I'm sick not even small food comes to my tummy,
My father all family never come visit me the are like don't care any more about me, and my heart hearting so much with them one thing believing to ALLAH and try to do better my self for take care my child, the day we gone to super natural I can't even walk two people handle me to take he's home for twenty minute he give me medicine like herb make operation with non drag and cutting my tummy to take of small meet, the medical from ALLAH by him make fill better suddenly Am hungry that man also understand he just give me food, and I can walk again like normal everybody looking at me like make them surprise, we back to city where we living, one day when we visit my mom some stranger in the house specially in my bed room brother in low he sleeping in my bed he like not have education to respect us older than them when he sleep the bed like move stronger he hear voice told him to moving from my bed he so scare, them say don't sleep in my boss bed room, that not only one time bout tree time deferent people and I believe that is when come in to my dreaming, the are tell me when we back from village. Sister in low she have that store also not ask me fist never ever pay us until now.
I not came table to sty with them I would like back to my home I ask my father he not say anything but I'm sure the witch don't like it we sty again in my house and she try again to blain me for not reason like my husband no go to mosque, and always looking some thing wrong with us to tell my father, she not understand how tired he is, he never took to me anymore I understand but we took in the heart, also I didn't mean to offend him,
In the morning early time to tree four clock he must going to mosque Istiqomah and he have accident cause that time also the dust from the mountain still like raining, few day ago the mountain the name galunggung is blowing up with lava, from another town that is about two our were we living,
He sty in hospitals and he have comma [brook he's main,] he have many thing to do for he's witches and he not recognize him self is in dangers for live, cause that wife so selfish only money and money he even have that money for him self,
I don't know what magic she gives to us that must be very strong, for few week he been in the hospitals he cant took also forget who I'm and all people he now before, doctor told us to take care of him don't do anything to thinking so much, give good food take vitamin for he's brain, and what happens when in the house she dint care anything for feed him he like animal how can she giving vitamin no even good food for him, first time sty home is ok for few week until two month cause all he's friend and student coming visit, and that make lot money making business for her self also she hiding that money not body now, and letter I'm sure she ask him to do work, with that money in hand for her is like hell cause my father start again go for work for teaching in university she trick him like horse never enough money and I dint know where the money going, he like robot only listen to her never listen to anybody even doctor, he never show happy face I look at him like put maskers change character hundred percent is not him any more just few month he been working and he must go back to hospital something wrong in he's brain and finally the doctor told he's beautiful wife to take care so much to husband, when the are came back from hospital everybody ask her what is going on, she cant say anything. I sure she ambaries so why she planning move to village cause he cannot have job anymore, we sty in that house, my father living in village that house my father fixing house splendid more than million rupee, not only house she have farmer that why money going and she hiding also some where, I sty in the house but my husband doesn't have job so I planning to doing some thing for my family and looking for the job even only have congratulation from first school and could be not possible for having a job,
Like in my country so difficult for work the people need from hay school and me with my husband doing some thing to make copy rapport from him when he have congratulation from middle school and that is not legal of cause but we doing what we can cause four tummy cannot make the deal and need pay my first girl to school so that we make it. I have a job in billiard. One year letter I move to another please the salary more better than before, I work over time for have more money and my husband still not have job for him is difficult to have job cause he not ones always have girl friend and stilling from the company using money also, when I never have, some day step mom invited me to village for wedding party her family I don't understand she make party for her family before when I wedding we don't have party like them no even my family we invited them, any way I planning to go there also my friend her face look like me, we are there and fist I won greet my father and I show him look the same still not happy, in the wedding lot a family make me sure that she got every thing what she won and in the end cause my father doesn't do money for party from my father who having money like that no body in her family have so much money she plying with my family specially with my father.
She not even asks my daughter.
We not sty there long time and she thinking I will give her money she now I have job but no even one rupee to give to her cause I don't have is just enough for travel only and she angry with me couple month letter some body tell me she so med with me, I promise in my heart when we have money we won back again there one day I have money little bit and we going there I bay some fruits, when we be there my father staying in the bed I'm so off sad
Looking at him we took little well and he told me to forgive him what is done to me but my heart not filling nothing is like empty that time Just happy cause we can give little thing to him that important even tears in my face I won to hold him like before when I'm kid everything show again in my main, he filling hungry that making me more med cause I show when she give him food only with salt fish how can he be healthy if she give food like that not fresh, just med by my self only wonder if have lot money I will take care of him,
When another company need new worker I planning again for changer one day before start for new job in the morning when taking bath I filling so happy and my brother adoption told me my father is dying I been shock and crying fast we can going to village until there people already take he's body in to gravy yard, I won look he's face for last never see him again for ever. I must back to home and need work also, after that we never meet winches again now I just won take care for my child to teaching right and give them so much love when I never have before that do not happen again to my daughter.
And when I remember about him filling off sad and another thing make me so angry what she done to us thing again with the chicken bone under bed she making black magic for us cause when she got marred before all husband dead and that is happen also to my father, that time I down won any body now still give secret for my self no even my half sister or brother thing only money greedy for all staff was my father have, but for me never have anything not body tell me what is going on with all staff, I sure when the people come visit him for last, she have allot money from them more than billion not yet from the university having retired money also from bank about two hundred fifty billion when they save money for planning going to Arabia again for my father but for whishes she never been there yet until he dying she got every thing what she won and in the end cause my father doesn't do anything she tired already to take care but is not tired when she take it money only push and push him like a horse, I know he's story little bit probably he leaning Islamic when he kid like generic knowing everything from Alqur`an every Cain education about Islam, and when he kid my grand father teaching very strong for Islamic until he's going to university in yogya,and living in bandung.